Performers Speak Out.

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Sydney Farron

I would like to start this off by saying that just because someone works in sexwork, that does not mean that they cannot be subjected to sexual assault or harrasment within the industry. It does not make it any less vaild and we should not have to live with it. Hollywood and the mainstream entertainment industry are throwing out their abusers, the adult entertainment industry should not have to be regarded any different. This is not an employment industry, race, gender, sex...etc specific issue, this is an abuse of power and false normalization of circumstances issue. This has been happening for decades and longer but victims and survivors have been scared into keeping it a secrete due to the culture. Sometimes by their abusers and sometimes by the negative and shameful reactions from society or their fear of committing "career suicide". This is all coming to a head now and this climate today has changed something amazing and people are actually listening and responding positively to these accounts of these horrendous acts. I've said it before and I will say it again now, if there was ever a perfect time to come forward and speak out and tell your story, it is now. Our stories together are making a difference and will bring about change for the better. For me personally, it feels so uplifting just to finally be able to talk about some of the things that I have kept in the dark and that never should've had to be.    

During my first trip to LA sometime in February 2013, I was on set in downtown LA for Grooby shooting my second hardcore for a site called Shemale.XXX. This was the first time I was sexually assaulted by my then male talent of that day, Christian XXX. The assault happened as I was in the director/photographer's bathroom doing my make-up in preparation for the shoot. I remember having the door closed for my privacy and I heard a knock followed by Christian's voice. I said I would be out soon yet he opened the door to my surprise. He complimented me on my appearance and I thanked him. Even though my privacy had been violated, my friendliness kicked in as well as a little of that excitement you get when you meet new people in this industry and I went to give him a hug to greet him. Anyone who knows me would know I am a big huger. However my friendly hug was met with him squeezing my ass. At the time I didn't think it was too out of the ordinary as we were about to have sex on camera but it did make me feel uncomfortable so I broke the hug and put my hands on his shoulders to push myself back. Although being new, I didn't want to seem like I was going to be hard to work with so I tried to end the encounter by saying again that I needed to finish my make-up and that I would be out soon. He ignored me and instead at this moment shut the door to the bathroom behind him and pulled me into his chest by my hips and said "kiss me baby" I froze and he began kissing me. This lasted for several seconds before he stopped and began to rub his erection through his jeans. I looked down and saw what he was doing and while trying to hid the fact that I was uncomfortable because this was new to me but that also I knew I was again going to be having full sex with this man on camera for my job in the matter of 30 or so min, I said we have a shoot to do and that we should save this energy for that, we shouldn't keep the photographer waiting any longer than he has to be. He finally agreed, stepped back and allowed me to start on finishing my make-up. He did stay in the bathroom for a short while and tried to back track with small talk that people who don't force themselves on other people at first sight would have in order to break the ice. After complementing me again, he left the bathroom shortly after I began doing my hair stating that he was excited and that he would be waiting for me out there when I was ready. Shortly after I emerged from the bathroom I went to get into my outfit for the shoot. Digging through my luggage at the time, Christian began lining up a picture with his cell phone, saying that this would go great on his new blog. The blog was supposed to show out of town porn girls with their luggage in LA and I really didn't have a problem with it but he didn't ask me if he could take the picture or if it would be okay to use it on his blog but he instead told me how to pose and took the picture. Again my head said, this is what this biz is, no big deal. During the shoot that day, after I was naked and we had just finished the sex stills before we began the video he took some more pictures of my butt and also me with his dick in my mouth saying that these would go great on his other blog as well. It felt a little awkward but me being new at the time I went with it thinking that since he had a name that it might somehow be good promotion for me. He did in fact end up using these pictures for his blog. The rest of the scene played out and then we parted ways after talking about TX being that both of us are Texans. We agreed to work with each other again in the future because I really didn't want to burn any bridges this early in my time in porn. Once again I rationalized all of this for the longest thinking that it was just how the biz worked but I have known for a while now that is not true and that me being uncomfortable with him forcing himself onto me when he just met me was indeed sexual assault no matter what industry.

This next account is harder for me to tell than the last because I was at a much different point in my life as well as my career at the time. Christian and I had worked together once again in 2015 for another company on a shoot in Tarzanna. That experience actually made me feel a little better about him as he didn't ever force himself onto me and was very courteous and professional for the setting. That being said, around the middle of February of 2016, I had been traveling back and forth to LA many times throughout the years for studio work. So much so that I even joined a performer coalition to stand up for an issue that is really important to me, trans inclusion in the mainstream industry and to end the stigma against trans performers. Anyways, the industry as a whole was neck deep in a fight with a outside organization that was trying to over regulate the way we did our jobs to the point of inciting harassment of workers. I was at one of these meetings in Silverlake and Christian had so happened to be there as apart of that fight too. The meeting itself went through without an incident but afterwards when I was speaking with some of my fellow performers outside and began to call my Uber, Christian had called me over to him as he was walking to his car. I went over and he said that he was about to head out and that if I needed a ride that I was welcome to hop in and he would take me to where I needed to go. I was actually thankful for this kind gesture and took him up on it figuring it would allow me to save the $30 back to my hotel in Burbank at the time. As we talked about stuff related to the the meeting and that I had to be in SF, Oakland the next few days for a shoot and for a industry court hearing, the conversation had shifted subjects to us shooting together again which was not uncommon through my experience so far. He was insisting that it needed to be a content trade shoot even though at the time I had told him prior that paid shoots were what I was focusing on. At that time when I was standing my ground about negotiating our next scene, he began to get more flirtatious. He began dropping the subject and complimenting me on my appearance and then he put his hand on the back of my neck and began to tickle my neck hairline. Working with him prior, he had remembered what might turn me on or what I might like. At that point I knew what he wanted and as I started to feel uncomfortable I said, what would your girlfriend think of this? I thought that this would make him let up but he said that she doesn't have to know but that doesn't mean that he won't tell her. I thought this was odd and as I began to respond he began removing his erection from his jeans. At that time while he drove us with his left hand he grabbed my left hand with his right hand and placed it on his erection. Okay, he wasn't letting up even though I was uncomfortable, he wanted me to perform oral sex on him as he drove me back to my hotel. Not knowing how this would turn out if he didn't get his way, I did. During the act he began to get more forceful as he knew how much I usually love giving head on camera and that because I was uncomfortable that maybe I was under-performing. At that point I again gave into what he wanted, performing how he insisted. He would say things like, "you know my girlfriend never does this for me. You're so good at it, if you were my gf I would have you doing this all the time." This went on as he drove us to my hotel, parking on the side as he arrived and then wanted to have me finish the job. He ejaculated in my mouth as he held my head down with both hands forcing me to swallow his cum or choke. Whatever, it was nothing new to me despite how I felt about it at the time and once again how uncomfortable I was. We then parted ways with him saying "I can't wait to fuck you in your ass when we shoot our next scene baby". Me wanting to end the interaction I said that had to be up early and exited the vehicle. I thanked him for the ride out of ingrained courtesy in me and proceeded into my hotel. I then took a shower, brushed my teeth to get ready for bed and just stuffed my feelings back down until now.

The last time I was assaulted by Christian XXX was pure viloation of my consent. This was about a week later after I returned to LA. We were shooting the scene mentioned in my last account and I had told him that I would shoot with him but that I wanted to use condoms during anal sex.  On the way to the shoot, he gave me the run around on why he didn't want to do that and refused to even respect the fact that it was my choice if he wanted to shoot with me. He did however pay 8th of my normal hardcore rate as well as buying a 16gb USB flasdrive for me. He thought it was okay to offer this to a model for shooting with him, I just said I would shoot for the content and the cash would just be an small extra bit. We did 1 foot fetish and 1 face sitting clip.  For the hardcore, his photographer, videographer shot all the pretty girl stills and couples stills with clothes on and the BJ stills. When we came to the anal stills though the condom issue came up again, I fought him on it again for some time but after being belittled and made to feel like I didn't know what I was talking about and stupid for even asking, I finally gave in so we could get the scene done with. Once again I rationalized it in my head that since I had shot with Christian bareback prior that I could just suck it up and do it again. We did exchange tests before and even though I was forced into shooting bareback with him, I just sucked it up and tried to make the best of the scene. I kick myself remembering that day. I should have stood up for myself, I should have standed my ground but already being assualted two other times by this same man I didn't have any more fight in me. I questioned myself why I even agreed to do the shoot. Why did I even think that this time would be any different?? Well, because of the paid shoot we had in between my first one with him and nthis one is why. Anyways I got through it. I hated myself but I got through it. He wanted me call an Uber for myself afterwards back to my hotel. The Uber was surge pricing and I was somewhere in Chatsworth and my hotel was in North Hollywood so I waiting for it to go down. It didn't end up dropping so he said he would drive me back to my hotel. The ride back was quite on my side and he was talking to someone on the phone. I remember he said on the phone that he had just finished a shoot and the person on the other end asked, with who and he said "oh you wouldn't know, she's just a tranny". After he got off the phone I spoke with him about this and how he is shitty and he basically mansplained to me how he thinks all trans women are men no matter hw pretty they are and people only want us because we are pretty and have dicks. He also said that that is why people don't want us after we have SRS. "Don't tell anyone I said that though." At this point we were setting outside of my hotel and instead of taking all of my anger out on this asshole's face from the accumulated sexual assualts and consent violations and his blatent yet selective disrespect shadowed in secretcy, I exited the car and vowed to never ever work with him again. He tried since and I have ignored him. Since then he has tried to ridicule me on social media before I blocked him. Bringing all of this to light has been a long time coming.